Hey everyone!! This is a special post and I am sure that all my penfriends can read this!!! ^^
You think, too, is weird that i am writing in English? I am doing in in the order that it´s a special day coming up and I have to do my best – practise!! Actually. I will do a very random post this time. I´ll just talk whatever I want to.
Lately, there have been many things around me. I am thinking some things over and over – I am being so negative. I hate it, truly!! It´s not like me. I just think that when people around me are so, I´ll turn negative too. Isn´t it obvious? I am doing all I can do to turn back normal. I am crazy you think? i know that I can influence myself in a good way when I just think positive all the time and when I .. write down positive thoughts or quotes.
But talking about some other things.. I am really working hard to live every day happily and to get enough sleep and to study well. I think is quite good right now – I go to sleep at 23.30 usually. haha..oaky it is still far away from the normal side, yeah I know myself too. STILL, it´s good for me. I am more happy when I get more sleep. やったね?
About my English. I think i am actually doing here the wrong thing! XD I should go and practise my talking skills. I can write, but when it comes to talking..ughh.. I suddenly forgot every word and start repeating myself and just..I amke a big mess with these words coming out of me so nobody really understands. I guess it just goes like this. But when talking about Kreete – she always talk better that writes. hehe.. I can do, actually, the both, but I just am not very good talking in English. Some guys I know, taht are true pros, are just the opposite – hehe, they can talk in English and can´t in Estonian. That´s just MEGAWEIRD.
I´m sure that when somebody like my English teacher sees it, makes me really blush about my mistakes. Everybody makes them I guess, but just..always when I think I got it right it turns out it was very bad. Just like in my math the day before yesterday. I got a very bad mark – 3 (I think it´s C in American marks). I am quite sure I did my best – although not with homework. We had a mini test and these materials that the test was about were not so new so i had studied it some months ago. So I didn´t think it was so important to study much. That cost me these marks.. But of course, when I get a 3, it does usually mean that nobody doesn´t get any five, because I always get very good grades and I don´t only if the task is really VERY hard. haha.. Like I am an egoist. Actually, that I said, is just true.
Actually talking in English somehow relaxes me and gives good energy. What should it be? Should I start blogging in English from now one? Everybody, with me, could practise theirs then too. Heh. I have to think…
Lately I have been into Japan so much, every day I am thinking what books should I buy to study more and more. I love it! I think I will buy some books about kanji or kanji cards. It´s hard to choose. Whatever I´ll buy it´ll cost much, but as my parents share my feelings as a language lover (actually more a culture lover who started loving the language too), they´ll help me with money a bit, or I think so. I asked my fatehr today and she didn´t seem to be so dissapointed to give me money to buy a book. Haha.. I just say his books. He´s crazy when it comes about language books – he has been buying these a lo~~t. He has..I think 5 books – mostly grammatic books and dictionaries. As I don´t love English SO much as Japan, I though in the beginning – wow – how does he want to buy these kind of books so much? But actually. It doesn´t matter. These books are so good actually. I love dramas to!!! I am a new-comer. i didn´t pay attention to these things for 10 months, just i knew that they could be interesting and so..It just went like this. But lately I feel that spirit coming out of me and it says – “Now it´s the time to start studying really hard, because you want to be fluent or either really good in 3 years?” I got this wonderful inspiration from a youtuber who is currently 15 years old and is quite fluent. How? Just studying by herself!
About a year ago when i thought – “Oh gosh, my mother and father are such language lovers! I think it´ll be a little disapointment to them (maybe) but I think I´m not gonna like any language. It´s old-school to learn languages by your own anyway. What does it give you?” But now I know why it went liek this. Oh, not why, but I know why people learn languages so volunteerly. Of course because of that…they love some country´s culutre so much taht want to get more know about teh language and want to get the right meaning of some things…just..it´s more easy when you learn something with a heart and for yourself.
I am even feeling some sadness that I have been learning, so much time, for the grades. not always, but as school gets so much like a prison and a place where you have to pay attention, learn and when you can´t rest because of the school, you just don´t want to study and study. Especially when you think: “Why should I learn it? Where in my life do I need it???”
This new year I really want to:
ORGANIZE MY LIFE AND CONTROL MYSELF
DO MY BEST WITH LEARNING JAPANESE
SHOW EVERYONE WHO I AM
BE CONFIDENT
MAKE AT LEAST ONE DREAM COME TRUE
MAKE NEW FRIENDS
LAUGH TO THE TEARS
I want to say at all of you! When you want something really – you better go out there to get it! A dream is like a butterfly – you have to catch it. Go silently, step by step there and when it comes to the right moment – your dream is in front of you. The only thing you have to do is not to rush, panic and lose your confidence. You have to really believe in youself and enjoy every day of your life! Because life is a gift – everyone could make it their dream´s life. I know that it´s all inside you – your opportunities. I am saying it, because I have had experiences – whatever you want – do it, dream it, think it and it becomes true!
I have said much, the next post will be full of my trip pictures, Christmas pictures and the New Year pictures. I love you all sooo soo much!!!!!!!!! <3
to my dearest friends and Aurel, Russel, Suguri, Nozomi and all you others dear, precious friends!!!
I am so sorry for those who I haven´t been writing lately, because I am busy with so many things and school keeps my time-table full.
kohapink. 